The places we go to find ourselves again

A dock…anywhere

I’ve never been formally diagnosed with ADHD, but if a doctor told me I had it, I wouldn’t blink. Here’s how I describe my brain: imagine a highway with eight or ten lanes of thought-traffic, all moving at once, all the time. No off-ramps, no red lights. Just constant motion. It’s exhausting in a way that’s hard to explain to people whose mental highway has, you know, two lanes and a shoulder to pull into.

This past week, my highway didn’t just stay busy — it jammed…hard! Everything backed up. I struggled more than I have in a long time.

And the one thing I’ve been looking forward to through all of it is absurdly simple: sitting on the dock.

It’s raining right now, which would normally be a reason to stay inside. Instead it feels like exactly the right kind of day for it.

Here’s the thing about the dock — when I sit there, the brain traffic doesn’t just slow down. The traffic slowly thins out and disappears entirely, and at least for a little while, there’s just… one quiet road, going nowhere in particular.

I don’t want to play pool. I don’t want to golf. I don’t want to hike, and — tellingly, for someone who is writing — I don’t even really want to write I just want to sit on the dock and recharge.

I hope the people around me understand that this isn’t me being antisocial or lazy.

It’s self maintenance.

So here I sit, on a dock at Crowe Lake, a nice dock, but nothing really special about it — On a gray day, the lake in front of me looks like what…pewter?

I sit here and watch. That’s it. That’s the whole activity.

And somehow, it’s putting me back together.

Why Doing “Nothing” Works

We live in a culture that treats rest like a reward you earn after productivity, or worse, as another task to optimize. But there’s something different happening on a dock, in a rocking chair, on a long walk with no destination. The mind isn’t being entertained or informed — it’s being given room to settle. Psychologists call this “soft fascination”: the kind of gentle, undemanding attention that water, clouds, or fire naturally pull from us, without draining our mental reserves the way traffic or a crowded inbox does.

A gray day, it turns out, might even help. There’s no glare, no urgency, nothing performing for you. Just quiet.

It’s Rarely About the Activity Itself

Ask ten people how they recharge and you’ll get ten different rituals — running before sunrise, kneading bread dough, losing an afternoon to a garden bed, sitting in a parked car in the driveway for five extra minutes before going inside. On the surface, these have nothing in common. But underneath, they usually share a few things:

  • Low stakes. Nothing to win, prove, or finish.
  • A slower rhythm than the rest of daily life.
  • Enough repetition or stillness that the mind stops narrating and starts noticing.
  • A place or object that isn’t asking anything of you — a lake doesn’t need a response.

The Case for Naming Your Dock

Maybe the real value of a post like this isn’t convincing anyone that sitting still is good for them — most people already suspect that. It’s giving them permission to take their version seriously. To say, out loud, “I need forty minutes at the lake” or “I need to walk with no phone” without treating it as indulgent or unproductive.

So: what’s your dock?

Aquarium Life – Phosphate Battle

  1. Switch to reverse osmosis based water, not tap water.
    • shooting myself in the foot with each water change
  2. 1 tablespoon of Aquarium salt to help de-stress the fish
    • instructions say 1tbsp for every 5gal
    • 1 tbsp more than enough
      • just taking the edge off
  3. Put Phosguard in a filter bag
    • 1tbsp
    • Water change in 4 days (do for two weeks)
    • Have water tested again (or retest myself)
  4. Replace AC30 Media
    • can clean sponge monthly with aquarium water
    • replace charcoal filter monthly

2026 Regular Aquarium Maintenance Schedule

Daily:
Feed fish: Monitor for proper appetite and behavior.
Check equipment: Ensure heater and filter are working and the temperature is stable.
Top off water: Replace evaporated water with non tap water.

Weekly/Bi-Weekly (10-25% Water Change):
Gravel Vacuum: Use a siphon to remove waste from the gravel or sand.
Water Change: Replace 15-25% of the water with treated, conditioned water.
Clean Glass: Use an algae scraper or magnet to clean the inside of the tank.

Monthly:
Filter Maintenance: Rinse filter sponges and media in a bucket of aquarium water to preserve beneficial bacteria.
Replace chemical media (like carbon) every 2-4 weeks (Fluval AC30 charcoal filter).
Water Testing: Test for ammonia, nitrites, nitrates, and pH, especially in new or heavily stocked tanks.
Equipment Check: Clean algae off heaters and filter intakes.

My Canada would include nuclear

Here are 10 reasons why I would consider moving Canada towards being a true nuclear power.

Nuclear Power:

Nuclear Power Looks to Regain Its Footing 10 Years after Fukushima |  Scientific American
  1. Energy Security & Independence – Developing more nuclear power would reduce Canada’s reliance on fossil fuels and imported energy, ensuring long-term energy stability.
  2. Low-Carbon Energy Source – Nuclear power is a clean energy source that helps reduce greenhouse gas emissions, supporting Canada’s climate goals.
  3. Economic Growth & Job Creation – Expanding nuclear power would create jobs in engineering, construction, and maintenance, boosting the economy.
  4. Technological Advancement – Investing in nuclear research can position Canada as a global leader in advanced nuclear technologies, including small modular reactors (SMRs).
  5. Stable & Reliable Power Supply – Unlike solar and wind, nuclear power provides a consistent, uninterrupted energy source.

Nuclear Weapons:

Just How Radioactive Are Low-Yield Nuclear Weapons?
  1. Deterrence Against Threats – Having nuclear weapons would provide Canada with a stronger deterrent against potential adversaries, reducing the likelihood of foreign aggression.
  2. Strategic Autonomy – Developing its own nuclear arsenal would make Canada less dependent on NATO allies, particularly the U.S., for security.
  3. Global Influence & Prestige – Possessing nuclear weapons could elevate Canada’s standing on the world stage, giving it more leverage in international affairs.
  4. Defense Against Emerging Threats – With growing geopolitical tensions and rising threats from nations with nuclear capabilities, Canada could strengthen its national security by having its own deterrent.
  5. Future Technological Edge – Research and development in nuclear weapons would push advancements in defense technology, benefiting other areas like aerospace, cybersecurity, and intelligence.

I am aware that developing nuclear weapons would go against Canada’s long-standing commitment to nuclear non-proliferation, and may could have significant diplomatic and economic consequences.

However I also believe that Canada can no longer afford to NOT invest in it’s own political independence and sovereignty.

My Canada – Controlling Illegal Items Crimes

I would immediately institute a number of changes to the criminal code.

Illegal substances (automatic 3 year sentence with mandatory detox program)

  • Fentanyl (additional 5 years of prison for each oz)
  • Cocaine and Crack (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Methamphetamines (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Bath Salts (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • GHB (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Ketamine (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Magic Mushrooms (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • PCP (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Codeine (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Benzodiazepines(additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Heroin (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • LSD (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • MDMA (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Opioids (additional year of prison for each oz)
  • Salvia (additional year of prison for each oz)

Illegal items (automatic 10 year sentence)

  • possession of a firearm without a license (additional 5 years for each additional firearm)
  • possession of ammunition without a license (additional month per each round of ammunition under 7.62 caliber, additional 6 months per round of ammunition over 7.62 caliber)
  • possession of explosives without a license
  • possession of tasers, brass knuckles, pepper spray
  • possession of certain knives
    • Any knife that has a blade that opens automatically by gravity, by centrifugal force, or by hand pressure applied to a button, spring or other device in or attached to the handle of the knife (butterfly knives, switchblades, etc.)

Illegal persons (automatic 10 year sentence)

  • any person that was not born in Canada
    • AND
      • is a member of a designated terrorist organization
    • OR
      • does not possess a 90 day temporary visitation pass
      • does not possess a valid immigration passport (to be reviewed every 2 years)
      • has overstayed a visa
      • has entered the country of Canada without authorization
      • has committed a serious offence
        • convicted of a criminal action
        • convicted of anti-Canadian activity including
          • coercion
          • political meddling
          • spying
          • burning of Canadian flags
      • has been trafficked
        • in the event of a trafficked illegal person, a Canadian repatriation team will return that trafficked person to their country of origin.

Smuggling

Deliberately smuggling Illegal Substances, Illegal Items, or Illegal Persons across the border of the country of Canada would result in an immediate, and mandatory 10 year prison sentence with additional time added per infraction.

Last Updated 02/24/2025

My Canada – Revamping Canada’s Defence

I would immediately reach out to Greenland, Iceland, Norway and Sweden, and collaborate on building at least 25 new cutting edge vessels (5 large vessels, 20 medium) for Canada, specially designed and built for patrol and enforcement of the Canadian Arctic.

Furthermore I would establish the UANP (Unified Arctic Nation Patrol), working with other Arctic partners aside from the US to patrol the Arctic.

Visby-class corvette - Wikipedia

I would immediately cancel all F35 orders, moving to immediately purchase a mixture of Typhoon and Rafale aircraft from european allies.

The Eurofighter Typhoon Europe's Leading Multi-Role Combat Aircraft – AVI-8  Timepieces
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Bombardier would be immediately engaged to build a batch of customized drone aircraft based on an already existing jet platform, optimized for range. This platform would be optionally manned, helping to establish a future fully automated system of monitoring and patrol of the north.

ISR & AEW | Bombardier Defense

To support our existing army, I would also create a larger militia in Canada. Anyone born in Canada could participate in 2-3 weeks of training per year, with the focus being on small arms training, marksmanship, and communications.

Army leverages innovative industry partnerships for next-gen SATCOM  capabilities | Article | The United States Army

As a reward for participating, all future education costs for citizens participating in this program would be covered. Hunting licenses, firearms licenses, and the ability to support police officers would also be key benefits to participation in the program.

Last updated 02/04/2025

Wait…being removed from the garden of Eden might actually have been the bigger blessing?

Genesis 3:22-23

22 And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

23 Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

I’ve been struggling lately with my faith. Not that I don’t believe in Christ, but knowing that my relationship with God hasn’t been what it should.

While cruising Instagram today I stumbled across this little gem that sparked my curiousity.

Item #1Behold, the man is become as one of us

I think this is the earliest reference to a 3 part God (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), but also demonstrates the collaboration of the 3?

Item #2 – Was it a punishment? Or a blessing to be removed from the garden of eden?

I grew up believing that humanity was punished from Eden for eating from the tree of good an evil…but that might not actually be the main reason. Because we have free will and sinned, God was afraid that we might also eat from the tree of life, and thus live forever…

…and here is the mind blower.

If Adam and Eve had eaten from the tree of life, humanity would forever live a hopeless unending existence, separated from God. Jesus as a human descendant of Adam and Eve couldn’t die on the cross, and our sins forgiven.

Right from the moment we sinned, God had a plan to redeem all of us.

#mindbown

I have no words…

At some point since 2019 our 2014 Honda Odyssey EX-L backup sensors just mysteriously stopped working for no apparent reason.

As a result of this, the van has had 3 rear end incidents as the result of backing the vehicle up (as the sensors no longer worked).

As I am prepping the van for a road trip this year, I thought just for the heck of it I would buy a new backup sensor switch…just in case that was the culprit.

10 second job to replace…and…nope!

I searched the internet for “honda odyssey 2014 parking sensor blinks” and this little gem popped up.

WHO KNEW YOU COULD TURN ONLY THE REAR SENSORS OFF.

NOT DISABLE TEMPORARILY…BUT TURN OFF INDEFINITELY.

A Sense Belonging?

I have almost always worked for a company that I almost instantly fit into. I’ve been very fortunate with my workplace history. Despite being in IT and being profoundly private, I enjoy getting to know the people that I work with. I loved my boss, and my co-workers within the greater team, and even a bunch of people outside those work boundaries.

I was incredibly comfortable in my career, and had gone out of my way to learn the unique facets of the concrete industry (including Gypsum operations, RMX plants, and Aggregate pit operations). I even got to push the button and blow dirt up. I travelled around the world for my company…doing things that were uniquely me.

I assisted with safety audits throughout Canada, and the USA. I worked with and trained our after-hours support team in India (reducing incidents in a huge way). I travelled to Brazil, to make suggestions as to how to integrate their operations into our support package. I worked with the business teams, as well as the software vendors, ensuring that our quality applications were working as expected and were being developed to our specifications.

I was “the guy” that did anything and everything it took for the Quality teams.

I felt invulnerable…which is why it shook me to my very core when I was WFR’d (work force reduced).

After the announcement, they kept most of us busy training our replacements, and ensuring that the work we did would carry on. It was…profoundly difficult. I loved the work, and I have always enjoyed training people…it was great to do one last time, before I began the next phase of my career.

Because who knows what the future holds…right?

For me personally, the moment I stopped working, I felt a sense of urgency to provide for my family.

I began talking with a local employer that sounded promising. They were a Microsoft Service Provider, providing services to businesses in and around the area that I lived in. So I was quite pleased when they indicated that they were interested in working with me based on experience etc. While I had worked with AWS previously, they were heavily embedded with Microsoft and I was clear with them what I had, and had not done previously…but was eager to learn.

It was like going back to where I started…Which is when I learned a very important life lesson.

Just because you speak the same “nerdspeak” as others, doesn’t mean that you belong, or are part of the team.

I listened and learned what I wanted to learn. Ultimately it didn’t work out…while I had a cursory friendship with one of the guys, the reality is that I was twice their age, didn’t smoke, and generally didn’t fit in.

I was a puzzle piece that didn’t fit. I was…embarrassed, and incredibly frustrated.

Which is when I learned that a company that I had previously worked with as a vendor was actually looking for me specifically and wanted to chat. They had learned that I had been released, and were curious about whether or not I would be interested in working for them…

I was a puzzle piece that appeared to fit.

Two years in, I am more relaxed, working at home, with friends and colleagues. Only time will tell if I’m the right piece for this puzzle, but at the moment…it looks like I fit well, and the puzzle image is starting to appear.

So take my advice, if you feel like a puzzle piece that just doesn’t belong, perhaps you are just in the wrong puzzle.